The horrible truth about Latino feminism

I consider myself lucky to have been raised by a strong-willed woman who was a Mexican feminist when “Mexican feminist” seemed like an oxymoron. While the cynic in me jokes that my mom taught me how to cook, clean, and do laundry because she wanted some help around the house, I know better: she understood her value as a person, and wanted to ensure her two sons respected that value—in her and in all women. So that we’d understand that women were placed on this earth for the same reasons men were, and not to be domestic servants.

As Jennifer Turano recently wrote, “feminism” remains a loaded term that, while easy to apply, masks the intricacies of its nature—and the beautiful simplicity of its central tenet (i.e., that, yes, women are real people too). For Latino men in particular, feminism remains a work in progress. Our embrace of women’s equality has been hindered by the generations of machismo that are only now giving way to practical realities—like the growing need for two family breadwinners.

The horrible truth about Latino feminism is that while we Latino men are making strides concurrent with our practical reality, we should instead be integrating the equality of women into our cultural constitutions, regardless of economic necessity. (Or did we plan on relegating women back to the kitchen once the economy improves?)

I’m not going to debate feminism; I think it’s common sense that women—who, among other things, got the short end of the stick on that whole procreation thing and have to endure pain us men would probably pass out from—are equals in every sense. If you sincerely believe women should be second-class citizens, you should stop reading this now.

But if you agree that women rock, let’s change the ways we conceptualize gender from the get-go.

There’s a reason why, when I’ve offered to wash dishes during visits to family members or Latino friends, I get funny looks from the men, who then look on in amazement as I open this mysterious bottle labeled dish detergent and get to work. It’s called “gender coding,” and most of us were raised with some form of it. Most of us were taught that women worked in kitchens because they were the weaker sex, and men in factories because they were the strong ones—the efforts of Rosie the Riveter notwithstanding.

But we’re becoming smart enough to decipher these codes and realize that most tasks aren’t gender exclusive or hierarchical. We know without a doubt that women can build planes and fight in wars. And we know men have the physical capacity to load a washing machine and hit On. Most of us can logically discern that women are equals—the Neanderthalic comments left by a few 18th Century Facebook trolls notwithstanding.

And yet, that belief remains largely unarticulated among Latinos. Do a Google search for Latino feminism and see how quickly Google says, “Uh, did you actually mean Latina feminism,” before yielding its scant results. We can do better.

We have to incorporate this belief into the very core of our cultural constitutions. We have to genuinely believe in and embrace the equality of our Latina and non-Latina sisters, and raise our own kids accordingly. We have to genuinely want our daughters to grow up as strong-willed women who will effect societal change. We have to raise our boys to understand there’s nothing wrong with them doing dishes. We have to encourage both to succeed, and to value and respect the contributions of their peers regardless of race, gender, or sexual orientation.

We have to respect women not just because they’re helping us pay the mortgage, but because we intrinsically recognize and appreciate their value as fellow people and partners.

Trust me, they’ve earned it, and then some. They’ve put up with us since the dawn of man, after all…

Source  Ulises Silva

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