8 Signs You're Dating a Psycho

Although we like to think of women as gentle and kind beings, there are some that do nothing but breed chaos, misunderstanding and insanity in relationships--especially when things don't go their way. Whether these behaviors originate from a chemical imbalance or from the environment in which they were raised, one thing is for sure--dating a nutjob can negatively affect all areas of your life; therefore, your goal should be to spot these gals before things get out of control. Here are 8 signs that the woman you're dating is a psycho.


1. She's extremely jealous
This type of psycho will go to any length to force unreasonable faithfulness on you because of her fear of losing you. Regardless of your constant assurances that you only care about her, she feels threatened when you discuss your previous relationships, gets angry and even has rages when you talk with female relatives, hates the idea of meeting your female friends and refers to all of them as skanks.


2. She's controlling your life
Do you have a hard time remembering the last time you had an opinion? Do you recall your last decision? Do you constantly find yourself on the defensive, having to explain all your actions and words? If so, it's because you're being completely controlled. This type of psycho is often good at manipulating and intimidating men, making a guy feel he is the one responsible for making her angry or upset.

Controlling women like this believe they know what's best for their men and will begin selecting the clothes you wear, choosing what movies you'll watch and deciding what you should or shouldn't eat. They will tell you when you can go out, when you can invite the guys over to watch the game and will even call you 10-15 times per day to keep track on what you're doing, who you're with and where you're going next with each call. They must be right at all times and will use a great deal of coercion and intimidation to force you into agreeing with them, i.e. shaming you for your thoughts, actions, every time you voice an opinion and will never try to understand your views.

3. She makes paranoid assumptions
If another woman calls you on the phone, even if it’s your boss or a female relative, she loses it, and goes into the grand questioning. Even if your 2 or 3 minutes late getting home, she asks what took you so long, or says "You were suppose to be home 3 minutes ago?". She gets angry every time you come within 20 feet of another attractive woman and demands: "What are you looking at?" She also blows up at you anytime you mention an attractive female celebrity and she asks, "So would you do her? Huh? Would you do her, you bastard?" If your girlfriend is displaying any of these behaviors, you might be in bigger trouble than you think.


4. She threatens to hurt or kill herself
When a psycho is on to the fact that you aren’t happy and might be looking for a way out, she will take drastic measures will keep you around such as making crazy statements in the middle of arguments, like,“If you leave, I’ll probably kill myself” and other threats of bodily harm. Even if she really wouldn’t kill herself and is just using these threats as a ploy to keep you around, it’s a serious issue that that leaves only one course of action: You have to break up.


5. She gets physical during arguments
Women like this feel it’s perfectly fine to slap, push, throw objects, force or slam doors and even use weapons against their man when he says or does something they don't like. These women make unrealistic demands of men and feel like they can inflict any kind physical pain on their men without fear of repercussion due to the man's fear of criminal charges, losing his job, etc...


6. She stalks you
A psycho will do things like call repeatedly or call late at night, leave notes at your home or send unwanted text messages and e-mails. When you just want to hang with your friends or even just be alone, she shows up at the bar, at your work, at the gym and at the bookstore. Check your pockets -- she may even be having you tracked.


7. She's emotionally unstable
With this type of psycho, her emotions are like night and day and you can't tell the difference between her being happy, mad or sad--even by looking at her facial expressions. One day she's your best friend, the next she won't even speak to you. One minute she'll love you and the next she'll be picking fights or screaming at you for some imagined transgression on your part. One moment, she is full of laughter and vitality. The next second, she is weeping her eyes out and overcome by misery. Any little bit of change in the day can cause her to react (or overreact) with a tornado of unnecessary emotions.

Women like this have the emotional age of a young child and their emotions ricochet from wild, joyous passion to utmost sorrow. This type of psycho will often exhibit temper tantrums such as getting loud and rude when you’re having a disagreement in public and screaming at the top of her lungs and even approaching you as if she’s going to get physical. She will make you feel like you're walking on eggshells or can't communicate with her without suffering her wrath every single time.


8. She needs constant attention
She cannot spend a moment without speaking to you. She'll send you unwanted text messages and e-mails and will call and page you repeatedly, leaving you voice messages like "I know you're home, pick up the phone." You’re out on lunch with co-workers and she happens to bump into you and just when you're about to go out with your buddies to watch the big game, she'll suddenly develop a mysterious illness, fall to the ground in a pretend faint so that you have to stay home and take care of her. She will encourage you to not work as much and will even go as far as to encourage you to quit your job so you can spend more time with her.

It's no secret that women need social interaction, feedback, and validation of their worth in a relationship; however, this type of psycho has low levels of self-esteem and self-confidence and consequently feels insecure. It's this same insecurity that makes this type of psycho want to constantly be around you so she can reassure herself that you are still there and haven't dumped her. This behavior is annoying and, in some relationships, can be exhausting.

All of these signs show a lack of self control, which in time can be unsafe to her as well as you. Whatever the psychosis, a woman who behaves like this is not someone you need to stay with no matter how good she is when she’s happy or in the bedroom. If you're experiencing any of these relationship landmines, it's time to cut ties as soon as possible.

Source: datingrelationship-advice.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in ask men , ask women , dating , dating pyscho. men dating pyscho , relationship , women dating psycho

Does a perfect wife always dress to please her husband?

Just how far should a woman go to please her husband? In Monday’s Mail, a series of women confessed to ‘Perfect Wife Syndrome’ — that is, making a deliberate effort to cook fabulously, dress to kill and offer sex on demand, no matter how tired or stressed they might be themselves.

Even Tory MP Louise Mensch — fearsomely accomplished and successful — has got in on the act, crisply informing us that not only does she dress up for her husband but that to do so is nothing less than ‘an act of love’.

We can argue all we like that it’s our personality that really matters — but there are few men who, given the choice between a partner in greying undies, baggy jumper and comfortable jeans and one who’s made the effort to look groomed and sexy, wouldn’t opt for the latter.

Is it really an act of love to indulge them? As in all things to do with relationships, it’s a question of balance.

Mensch qualifies her dressing-up comments with the phrase ‘not in a Barbie doll way’ — a shrewd remark, as any man who urges you to wear short skirts and low-cut tops wants a trophy, not a partner. And the trouble with trophies is that the moment they lose their lustre they’re usually left to gather dust.

I am part of the first generation to have been reared on a diet of equality. Today we expect — demand — the same opportunities as men. So surely, you might think, we shouldn’t have to worry any more about how we dress?


But what we wear, and why, is fraught with complexity. We should dress to please ourselves, of course — but what most of us perhaps don’t like to admit is that we don’t please ourselves if no one else thinks we look good.

That doesn’t mean we should all be striving to dress in the height of fashion, whatever Vivienne Westwood may say. The designer sniffily dismissed the Duchess of Cambridge recently as a very ‘ordinary’ dresser who was definitely not a fashion icon, as a true fashion icon doesn’t follow trends, she sets them.

Well, why on earth would Kate want to be a fashion icon? The truth is that most women don’t want to stand out like a Belisha beacon, but to blend in. The rule for this is really very simple: dress appropriately for the situation.


On the school run, an outfit should be practical and comfortable, and its chief function is not to embarrass your child. In the office, it should be stylish but not sensational. And on an evening out with your husband, it should be sexy not sexual.

These are basic choices that most of us make every day, and have nothing to do with feminism. If you look good and are dressed appropriately, you’ll automatically feel more confident.

That’s not betraying the sisterhood; it’s merely common sense.

So have the Perfect Wives got it right when they say we should also whip up feasts for our men every night and provide sex on demand?

That, I’m afraid, is when my moderate-feminist hackles rise. For what keeps a marriage together is not subservience but love and respect — and who can respect someone who ignores our own needs?

If you choose to pander to your husband’s every whim, it will all end in tears. Being thoughtful is one thing. Subjugating your needs and personality to his is quite another, and the truly Perfect Wife needs to be much cleverer than that.

Yes, she should seduce him on occasion, just as she should dress up from time to time or produce an exquisite meal. But she should also demand that he make just as much effort to keep her impressed, entertained and amused.

Because the true enemy of marriage is complacency. And there’s nothing perfect about that.

Source: Sandra Parsons

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in 2011 best marriage issue , marriage , MP Louise Mensch , perfect couple , perfect marriage , perfect wife , Peter Mensch , relationship

10 Things He's Thinking Before He Cheats

Unfortunately, cheating happens. Ten guys reveal what went through their minds before they threw caution to the wind and they crossed that line.

Unplanned Event


“It’s rarely a calculated decision. No one says, ‘Hey, I’m going to cheat.’ They do it because it’s new and different — that’s the main thing. Oh, and those rambling excuses you get when we get caught? Those are true. It really did mean nothing. I was very drunk. It really was just once.”

Bad Bargain?

 “This better be worth it.”

Spontaneous Combustion?

 “Deciding to cheat is a lot like spontaneously going to Atlantic City. When your friend says, ‘Hey, man, let’s go to AC tonight,’ you think, If I don’t go to Atlantic City, what will I be missing?”

Blast from the Past

 “When I cheated it was with someone I had hooked up with in the past. I kept thinking about how rekindling those feelings of desire broke up the monotony of my relationship.”

Opportunity Knocks?

 ”I guess I thought that the relationship didn’t matter much to me. If it’s something I want to do, why should I hold myself back? The opportunity was there.”

Ego Boost?
 ”Sometimes the opportunity to cheat really just falls into our lap. That’s when we’re most vulnerable. We just want to feel good about ourselves.”

Blame Biology
“We’re not thinking with our brain … maybe with another important organ, if you know what I mean. It’s naturally programmed into our DNA to spread our seed.”

Under the Influence of Adrenaline

“Besides the given — that we’re thinking how hot the chick is — most guys end up cheating for the adrenaline rush; it’s a lot easier than stealing a car.”

Revenge

“In all honesty, I’ve only cheated after I heard that my then-girlfriend cheated on me. Two wrongs don’t make a right. My answer is vengeance. Although there was no long-lasting relief from the pain that comes with being cheated on, seeing her face when she found out was priceless and gratifying. This was especially true because she had no idea that I knew what she had done.”

Resistance Faded

 ”If I had to sum it up, I would say that I wasn’t thinking at all. I mean, I pushed her away a few times prior to the act, but those were just knee-jerk reactions. I guess I was thinking, No, I can’t do this. And then eventually, I just gave in.”

Source: Kristen Flanagan

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in billy christian , cheated , cheating man billie christian santos inouye , neo james cheating man philippines , neo james scammer , relationship , that's entertainment , thats entertainment

The Importance of Making Women Laugh

Is there anything more attractive than a guy who can make women laugh? Using humor can relieve the nervous tension of first date jitters and level the ground between you, negate worries about "not being or looking good enough" and draw a man and a woman closer together. Even though some women fall for a guy's impressive job, savings account or his sexy body, the ability to make them laugh is a renowned dating and flirting strategy that works every time--if you know how to use it right.

Whether you realize it or not, humor is critical to your success with women. In fact, a sense of humor usually tops a woman's attraction wish list and is one of the best ways to turn her on. A woman who finds herself laughing along with your great sense of humor is a girl who is more likely to fall for your charms. Another key component of laughter is that when you’re funny around women, it presents you as the kind of guy who’s fun to be with, and if a woman is really interested romantically, she'll laugh at your jokes--even if they aren't funny!

Although laughter is a very effective dating technique, many guys get it completely wrong when they try to be funny around women. Guys who are desperately trying to seek a woman's approval do things like slap-sticky humor or act like a clown, making it obvious that they're trying to make her laugh and coming across as goofy or dorky. Not good.

In order to get a woman laughing and attracted at the same time, you have to get an idea as to what she may find amusing and tease her; however, this doesn't mean be a jerk. It means using gestures, facial expressions and voice tone to create a fun and flirty vibe and assume familiarity with her by doing things like mocking her voice, telling her funny jokes and stories and using your humor to break the touch barrier while making her laugh at the same time.

The only downside to this strategy is that when you're only teasing and making women laugh, you're not showing them the other parts of your personality. Humor is an effective tool, don’t get me wrong, but don’t rely on it to create attraction all by itself. When meeting new women, you don’t necessarily want to kick off every discussion with a joke. Instead, learn a little bit about the woman first and ask her questions, then once you’ve got her talking, you will gain access to more of her personality and seem like a more well-rounded and interesting type of guy.

When it comes to creating attraction, humor can be your most effective tool when you're talking to a woman. Not only will showing off your great sense of humor get a girl to laugh--it's bound to ensure that both of you enjoy your time spent together.

Source: datingrelationship-advice

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in 2011 Making Women Laugh , beauty , dating , laughing , life spirits , relationship , woman

Top 10: Signs of a Desperate Man

In the dating world, a desperate man is one who is overeager, anxious, presumptuous and willing to be with any woman to avoid being alone. Women can spot desperation in a man from miles away, and if you suffer from it, you'll never stand a chance at getting any girl.

A man who is desperate may have a strong want and desire to have a relationship; however, due to having little experience in the romance and dating department, his behaviors can indicate low-self esteem and a host of other issues that turn women off and can actually be viewed as creepy and disturbing.

Here are 10 warning signs that can help you determine if you fit under the portrait of a desperate man:

1. Dropping your standards
Desperate men are prepared to drop their dating standards to fill the huge emotional void in their life. Whether they want children or intimacy the desperate man will date who they have too to avoid being alone. They will be with any woman just for the sake of being attached while failing to realize that it's better to be single and wait for the girl who is their type.


2. Constantly fishing for compliments
The desperate man has low self-esteem, a poor self-image and needs to constantly hear how great he is and be assured of things. It doesn't take long for women to get tired of constantly stroking your ego.


3. Overly Calling/Emailing/Texting Her
If you want to run a woman off quickly, one of the best ways to do it is to overly call, email or send text messages early in a relationship, especially when she hasn't returned any of your messages. The desperate man makes the fatal mistake of calling the woman he's dating and asking "Did you just call me?" after receiving a call from an unrecognized number.


4. You're always available
Always being available makes women think that you don't have a life of your own and actually lessens your own attractiveness, making you far less desirable. Being a challenge to women makes you more desirable.


5. You move too fast in relationships
The desperate man will spend every single day with a new girl for weeks and never know basic information about her that normally should have been covered in the first few dates. Although finding love is based on each individual relationship and some people move quicker than others, the desperate man will move so quickly with things like intimacy and sex that he will turn a woman off with his frantic desire for a relationship.


6. You're constantly buying her gifts
A desperate man constantly showers a woman with gifts without realizing that eventually she will become less thrilled and even annoyed receiving them. Even though the thought is nice, after a while the concept will begin to lose its meaning and she is going to get tired of always getting something.


7. Not giving her enough time and space
Desperate men tend to be a bit on the invasive side when they always need to hang out at a woman's home for hours on end, not respecting the fact that she has a life of her own life. Women don't always want to hang out with you day in and day out and will quickly end relationships with guys not respecting their need for space.


8. You're in constant agreement with everything she says
Desperate men just sit there and agree with everything a woman says, thinking that's what she wants. In reality, women want someone who is going to stimulate their minds and are not turned on by men they can completely control has no backbone.


9. You make her the center of your life too fast
Desperate men tend to make the first woman that will go out with them the only person in their life and not take the time to continue dating and getting to know other women. Telling a woman "You're the only woman in the world for me" before the three-week period will have her running for the hills.


10. Being overly nice all the time
If a guy is too nice, too accommodating and tries to be the most giving person to a woman, she will begin to think he's being insincere and will lose romantic interest quickly. She'll also think that he's only trying to achieve one thing: to get into her pant

Source: datingrelationship advice

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in 2011 Desperate Man , 2011 desperate men , dating , desperate billie christian capulong , dumped men , men , relationship

How Materialism Can Hurt Your Marriage

More money, more marital distress, says one study.

When you picture Bravo's "Real" Housewives, you likely think of expensive clothes, lavish and over-the-top parties, and a seemingly endless supply of financial backing from their hard-working husbands.

But you also picture drama: Not just conflicts between the ladies, but marital issues as well. Turns out, the relationship woes we see on these shows stem from the very thing that begot them in the first place: money.

While it can buy you lots of things — as the Beatles once sang — money can't buy you love. A new study of about 1,700 married couples found that couples who were not materialistic scored 10 to 15 percent higher in terms of relationship quality than their materialistic counterparts. To define whether a couple was materialistic or not, they were asked to rate the statement "Money and things have never been important to me" based on how much it applied to them. Those who disagreed with the statement tended to score lower on questions that tested emotional maturity and responsiveness to their partners.


Yes, those who love money have more arguments about it, even if they are well off financially. Think of that stereotypical Bravo housewife — she loves money, she has money and she enjoys spending that money. That money-obsession, in itself, is the recipe for a bad relationship. Now, if her husband is just as materialistic, the result is disaster. 4 Ways To Avoid Fighting About Money

Money-hungry couples, according to the study, had poor communication and conflict resolution skills. They were also less responsive to each other. The study's authors say that a heightened focus on possessions, rather than on the partnership, is to blame.

If you're a member of a materialistic and miserable pair, there is some hope. The key to combating materialism is gratitude, experts say. The first step is connecting — you must, experts say, be grateful for the circumstances that brought your wealth, and focus on the community that surrounds you. Finally, you can combat your marital woes by spending more meaningful time with your partner: talking, not swigging expensive champagne.

Source:Kait Smith

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in 2011 relationship , conflict , divorce , fighting , financial , husband , marriage , money , money and love , Real Housewives , relationship , relationship challenges , wife

3 Relationship Mistakes You Didn't Know You Were Making

Once I had a client with a bad habit. I made her keep track and she found she was complaining to friends, several times a day. It seems like if we aren't busy putting others down to make ourselves feel better, then we are busy putting ourselves down to supposedly make someone else feel better. Ugh.

Or we are busy trying to win at "misery poker" so others do what we want them to. For example, always having some ailment or predicament that turns the conversation to your needs -- not the other person's -- and puts them in a position of feeling like they need to help or save you.

Or we are busy hiding our real selves for "fear of rejection." For example, not being honest about your sexuality with people you love.

We are such manipulators. None of this works or makes us feel good, but we are just so chicken that it's where we often stop in our relationships.

Here's the problem with each case.

Case #1: You hide your success or fake-complain to make another feel better. This covers up that you are judging them; you see something awry with them; you have some wisdom to impart or some harsh reality to wake them up to and you are too afraid to do it. You justify your fear with the arrogant assumption that they can't handle it. You do the dialogue in your head instead of with them. You become "better than" and supposedly powerless to speak (all at once), while they become a mute pawn of your unspoken judgments.

Then we wonder why we don't feel totally powerful and peaceful. It's because we live in compartments, never unifying our voice and speaking as ourselves, our real selves, even when it's ugly. Especially when we have something true, harsh or ugly to say, we need to say it. When the thoughts see the light of day and the other person gets to respond, only then can the thoughts change or lead to some good.

Case #2: The problem with manipulating others to feel sorry for you and do stuff for you is that it's never enough. Also, you have to be so convincing that you start to believe you have no power and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Plus, because your real purpose in life is to empower yourself, and there is no substitute, you will never be fully satisfied with other people's help anyway.

Case #3: The problem with hiding yourself or something about you in the name of being loved is that you never feel real love anyway, because you aren't being the real you. Sure, someone could reject you when you tell the truth (though they usually don't if you do it with grace), but you fulfill the prophecy of being rejected and alone by not being the real you. Plus, in your arrogance of "knowing" how they will respond, you turn them into mute pawns in that they don't get to choose their response. Again, the dialogue is in your head, not in real life. And then by golly, it seems to you that they have rejected you, when you have rejected them.

Yikes! What is the solution?

Start telling the truth. Today. Immediately. Go back and fix one of the cases in your life where one of these things has occurred. Set the record straight and start a real honest dialogue. Geez, it's exhausting to avoid them any longer.Let me know how it goes. (Share it with me in a comment below.)

Can you tell I have a head full of steam? I do. I am on a warpath for making the truth sexy and getting people to buck up and get real. If you want to feel better, be realer. It works every time.

Source Laurie Gerber

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in 2011 best advice relationship , 2011 top relationship mistakes , couple , healthy living , healthy relationship , relationship , romance

Falling in Love is a Magical Experience

♥♦•◘○♥♦•◘♥ MY MAN - "Babe, I am so fortunate to call you my man. I promise I will love you always and be there to listen and support you in the best way I can. You have provided strength and loving support in this relationship and I want to give myself to you in the same you have given yourself to me, in love and respect. At times when I feel that I can handle the world on my own, you have always showed up and rescued the situation with your love and endless compassion. You have never given me a reason to doubt our love and you always include me in decisions and in your life. I endeavor to honor, respect and love you all the time. Everytime. My life has been a cheerful paradise since we have met. You have been faithful and loyal to me and I to you. I love you and I always will. Thank you for giving me your love key and inviting me to share my world with yours. I love you." An appreciative woman.

God encourages women to love, support, honor and have deep respect for their man. As the man is to be a provider for the woman, the woman is to display loving support and peaceable respect for her man. To be connected with each other emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually. The deeper the love and respect the bigger the blessings to come. "Nevertheless, also, let each one of you individually so love his wife as he does himself; on the other hand, the wife should have deep respect for her husband." (Eph 5:33) "Has one found a good wife? One has found a good thing, and one gets goodwill from God." (Pr 18:22) Love in God's definition should be the at the forefront of the relationship. When the couple has a true understanding of God's definition of love and practice it, they will surely have success in the relationship, prosper peacefully and blessed. Have a wonderful Wednesday!


Source Marquisa Benton from Facebook

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in 2011 best love advice , 2011 best love relationship , 2011 love tips , couples , relationship

When love gets a second chance

Last week I revealed how heartache does not discriminate among races, cultures or backgrounds and how no one is immune to the ill effects of a broken heart. By the same token, a second chance, when either earned or given, can renew your spirits and make even the most pessimistic person believe in love. Eileen Rivera illustrated this beautifully in her article about Chico and Rita.

So what do you do (and not do) when you get a second chance? How do you go about rebuilding trust in a relationship? Is it possible to forgive someone that hurt you and move on to a brighter future? The answer to this question is a resounding “yes” if you’re willing to put in the work.

When given a second chance at love, you should embrace it, cherish it and remember why you’re in this situation in the first place. It’s true that it takes “two to tango”, but if you’re responsible for putting the relationship on rocky ground, own up to it and accept complete responsibility. There’s nothing worse than an insincere apology; your partner will see through your actions, if you’re truly sorry. Also, don’t fall victim to falling into old patterns; talk to your partner about what went wrong and what you’re going to do to fix it. Give them specific steps you plan to take to improve the relationship whether it’s weekly counseling, attending church or changing a bad habit.

Rebuilding trust is a slow and sometimes difficult process, but both people in the relationship have to be willing to let go of the past. Concentrate on the present and show your appreciation for your partner so that your future can be filled with happiness. Remember the feelings you had when you first met your partner, all the special things you did for him/her (and vice versa), the surprises, the trips together – by remembering when you were most happy in the relationship you can recapture your passion. Above all else, however, be completely honest. The truth shall set you free.

The old adage, “to err is human, to forgive divine,” must be your mantra in moving forward with a second chance at love. I often think about parents who have had to forgive someone who wronged their child – or even worse – caused their death. If these parents can forgive these atrocities, then working through a tough spot in a relationship is possible. Learn from your mistakes and practice forgiveness by forgiving others and yourself.

Finally, both parties in the relationship have to move past difficulties with the same goal – a renewed relationship is made stronger (not weaker) by getting over hurdles together. If you’re continually looking in the past or idealizing the days of ol’, you will never completely mend the relationship. So, keep your eye on the prize of a happy future and value the person you love everyday with wild abandonment!

Source Brian Cockman

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in couple , forgiveness , love , lovers , relationship , second chance

Tips on How to Overcome the Green-Eyed Monster: Jealousy

There are several things that can wreck a relationship:  finances, in-laws, friends, distance. However, the worst culprit of all is jealousy – that insidious green-eyed monster that surfaces at the worst of times and wrecks havoc every chance it gets.

We typically only hear about it in extreme cases, such as that of Leonard John Egland, a former soldier who killed his ex-wife, her boyfriend, the boyfriend's young son and even his ex-mother-in-law last month in Philadelphia during a apparent jealous rage. We hear about it when individuals have to file a restraining order to keep an old lover or spouse away.

But not all jealousy is bad.

Having a little jealousy in a relationship denotes caring and shows that you don’t want to lose a good thing.  It's when those feeling turn into obsession that the relationship suffers. 

Jealousy is often based on fear and insecurities: Fear that the person you care about is not going to love you anymore or will no longer accept your flaws and will look for another. These insecurities are mired in lack of confidence and self-esteem and lead to fears of loss and rejection.

At times, jealousy stems from a lack of trust. Often you become resentful of your partner’s interactions with others because he or she has been unfaithful in the past. In these cases, it’s your ability to forgive and move on with the relationship that will help your relationship move forward. If you can’t overcome your partner’s infidelity, it’s best to end the relationship and find someone who will honor the relation you have with them. Regaining trust after an infidelity is very hard and often unsuccessful because individuals tend to hold on to the pain and therefore tarnish any future connections they can build together. In cases where you can’t overcome the betrayal, it’s better to simply walk away than live in a toxic environment.

Here are a few tips to help you overcome the green-eyed monster and build a healthier relationship, or decide when it’s best to end one. 

When you’re dating or in a relationship with the “life of the party” whether they are a man or a woman, it’s important to realize that your attraction to them was partly based on that behavior.  Talk to your lover about how their behavior may seem a little offensive and even help set some boundaries for them. Often these individuals merely enjoy the affirmation they receive that they’re still desirable to others and they want no one but you. Set realistic boundaries for behavior, including dancing with others and talking in public or even how they introduce you to others.  Remember at the end of the night, they’re going home with you. 

If there have been problems with infidelity in the past and you’ve agreed to forgive him or overlook it this one time and move on with the relationship, then you have to rein in your insecurities and trust that the individual will honor his word.  If you find that you cannot or it’s too hurtful, end the relationship.

It’s inappropriate for you to yell at another woman or call her names if she engages with your partner.  She is not the one being disrespectful to you, it’s him! Place the blame where it belongs then take a long look in the mirror and ask yourself one question, “Do you really want to share your life with a frog?”  If the answer is no, break off the relationship and move on. Remember so long as there’s a frog in your bed, your Prince Charming can’t arrive. 

In the end, every relationship has one constant component—you.  You need to value yourself and the gifts you bring to any relationship, including your integrity and self worth.

Source Dr. Charley Ferrer

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in 2011 best relationship , green eyed monster , infidelity , jealousy , relationship , trust

3 Tips on How to Keep the Fire Burning in Your Relationship

We often pray the love we have will last a lifetime; romantically day dreaming of all those walks along the beach holding hands under the moonlight. We crave nights filled with passion. We fantasize for hours about all the ways we’d be adventurous.

Despite all this, many romances fall along the shores of the Isle of Regret and we’re left wondering what happened, praying for one more chance to make love last and right all our wrongs.


Ironically, even if you are given a second chance, most couples fall back into the same dull routine; the same indifference and inactivity that caused the break-up in the first place. It’s not because they weren’t sincere or didn’t really try “this time” to make it work, but more so because of lack of options. And yes, at times laziness because all too often, we’re so exhausted after work that making dinner and sitting in front of the television is all the energy you we left. And if you have kids, then your energy is spent on them and your partner is left behind.

In order to have a lasting sensual relationship, you have to guard the flames. You have to make the effort, especially when you’re exhausted. You have to give 100 percent because 50/50 relationships never last! Below are a few simple tips on how to guard the flames and put sabor back into your love life.

Date Night

Though it may sound strange, this simple task is a great way to keep the flames of love burning brightly. “A date night” is special. It belongs to your partner. That means you turn off the phone, you put a “Do Not Disturb” sign on the door, you send the kids to your in-laws or spring for a babysitter, and you devote your entire evening to your partner. If you’re out on the town and someone you know intrudes, kindly tell them that you’re on a date and you’ll get back them when it’s more convenient. This not only sets your boundaries, it also lets your partner know that you value them enough to guard their time with you.

Share your Desires

Communication is the key to any relationship. Not only should you share your hopes and dreams with your loved one, you should also share your sensual needs as well. Share your fantasies, especially the adventurous ones. Pick a date this month to role play a fantasy, and allow your naughty side out to play. Make it more playful by using props, setting the atmosphere, and decorating the area to coincide with your adventure. If you can’t share your naughty side with your partner, who can you share it with?

Explore

Learn everything you can about pleasure. Find a few sensual books and read them together. Leave a sexy message on their machine. Purchase adult toys. As adults, you choose what’s appropriate for you.

Love isn’t about waiting – it’s about doing! Tomorrow never comes. There’s only today. Make today full of love and passion so the future will find you together holding hands while you walk along a moonlit beach.

Dr. Charley Ferrer is a world-renowned Clinical Sexologist and the only Latina Doctor of Human Sexuality in the United States. She is the award winning author of The Latina Kama Sutra, The W.I.S.E. Journal for the Sensual Woman, and The Passionate Latina: In our own words. She is the founder and Executive Director of the Institute of Pleasure whose primary mission is to provide education on relationships, mental health services to women and men, and conduct research on sexuality. She can be reached at questions@doctorcharley.com. For more on Dr. Charley, go to www.instituteofpleasure.org.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in charley ferrer , couple , dating , latina doctor Charley Ferrer , lovers , relationship

5 Off-Limit Women Men Can't Resist

Once on vacation I found myself seriously attracted to a man I definitely wasn’t supposed to be—a friend of my dad’s, whom he’d invited along. (Hey, I was 24. And he was only 30. OK, maybe 35.) After a day of sailing and a night of hotel bar karaoke, we ended up hooking up on the beach, and spent the rest of the week having a super-secret fling.

Why? Precisely because he was the one person I shouldn’t have gone anywhere near. At some point every girl has had a thing for someone in the “do not touch” category—her best friend’s brother, her sorority sister’s ex—and has, per the rules of polite society, done her best to stay away. But if you think there’s no way she’d cross that line, you’re probably wrong—I’m living proof. Thanks to their illicit nature, off-limits hookups are usually off-the-charts hot. And when played correctly, the reward can be worth the risk.


The girl: your roommate
I know four couples who started out as roommates—which shows this challenge can be met, but also stands as a warning: Things can go from zero to husband-and-wife-like very quickly. Still, if it’s easy sex you’re after, a coed roomie can be a jackpot.

When Margaret,* 33, got a new roommate, she said it was only a month before they were having sex on the couch. “One minute we were laughing at Modern Family, the next we had our hands in each other’s pants.” Even hotter: They had to keep things secret from a third roommate. “While we were all hanging out, he’d give me a look, and I’d count the minutes before I could sneak into his room.”

If you’re not social with your roommate, it’s still easy to get cozy after a night out. “The first time my roommate and I hooked up, we’d gotten in late around the same time,” says Erin, 25. “He asked if I wanted a nightcap, so we cracked some whiskey and stayed up talking, and one thing led to another. Now we do it every few weeks.”

The move: Adjust to her schedule so you can bond. Does she wake up at seven to do yoga? Get up to make coffee. She likes to watch American Idol? Make it your new show.

Danger factor: Any resulting awkwardness only lasts as long as your lease.


The girl: your GF’s sister
The guilt factor in destroying a blood bond could be major. The good news is, it’s tough to do. “I had sex with a guy my sister dated, only because she and I had a rivalry that made him seem like a prize,” says Stephanie, 30. “It was a few years after they’d gone out, so she was pissed when she found out, but not enough to stop talking to me.”

Younger siblings tend to have a chip on their shoulder from years of being compared to big sis, so tell her how smart, pretty, or funny she is and she might reward you. Or she just might be a psycho, in which case you won’t have much work to do at all. “My little sister boned my college boyfriend right under my nose,” says Kelly, 32. “He was visiting me on our winter break, and my parents made him sleep in the basement. She was still in high school and going through some party phase—pills, booze. Part of her ‘cry for help’ was to crawl on top of him in the middle of the night. The best part was that he has sex with her but told me about it as though he’d been taken advantage of somehow. I dumped him immediately.”

The move: Siblings are notoriously competitive. Prey on that—and hope it’s worth the pure hell that may follow!

Danger factor: Upset the sisters and you might have to deal with the dad. Just sayin’.

RELATED: When Your Love Life Requires Some Necessary Roughness


The girl: your intern
Hooking up with a colleague isn’t that unusual these days, but it’s much riskier when she’s your subordinate. Still, in a way you’re in luck: Women are seriously attracted to men in a position of power.
“I had sex with my boss when I was a 20-year-old intern at a newspaper,” says Kat, 27. “He’d take me out for lunch and help me with my résumé. I made the first move, but the fact that he was willing to risk his job to do it with me made me feel irresistible.”

The potential for scandal is actually a turn-on for a lot of women. One girl said she wanted people to find out about her affair because it made her feel superior over other colleagues—that her boss had chosen her almost felt like approval for a job well done.“I’ve hooked up with several superiors,” says Melissa, 28. “One was my HR director, so it was beyond wrong. Another guy was my direct boss, and he’d give me crappy tasks, like walking his dog at lunch. When I got to his place, he’d be waiting for me. People at work had no idea we were having sex.”

The move: Make her feel like one of the gang: Invite her out with more established colleagues, and give her legit work to do. But look into company policy first—no one wants to be ID’d as a harassing sleazebag.

Danger factor: Smokin’ assistant versus on-going employment. Hmm.


RELATED: Survive Your Office Relationship


The girl: the out-of-your-league crush
She’s not strictly off-limits, but society still deems you can’t sleep with her. Why? Because, frankly, she’s a lot hotter than you. However, that doesn’t mean she won’t give you the goods. “I hooked up with my nerdy lab partner in college,” says Colleen, 28, who was president of her sorority. “He was pock-marked, with an orange ’fro. But we spent long hours working together, and he was super-supportive when I’d get frustrated. One night I needed a stress reliever, and he suggested we blow off work. We snuck into an empty room, and he made a move. I was shocked—he was a great lay!”

The move: Give her the right kind of attention. When other dudes dote, be casual. If they treat her like a trophy, act like you’re on the same level. She’ll find it refreshing.

Danger factor: You may be embarrassed when people wonder why she’s with you. But who cares?


The girl: your best friend’s ex
Assuming you spent a lot of time with her, it was probably hard not to imagine her naked. The good news is, she likely had the same thought. And if she’s upset about being newly single, nothing says “screw you” to her ex like screwing his buddy. “My current boyfriend used to be good friends with my ex,” says Alicia, 29. “After the breakup, we’d talk about what went wrong, and he’d say things like, ‘He’s crazy to let you go.’ Soon we were making out, half because he made me feel good and half because I just wanted to burn my ex. Eventually, we fell for each other for real—and they stayed friends.”

Not all endings are that tidy, but who cares when the sex is so good? “Once when my boyfriend and I were in a huge fight, I had sex with his best friend,” says Diana, 23. “I ran into him at a bar right after the blowout and was so furious I pulled him into the bathroom and rode him like crazy. We kept it on the DL when my guy and I worked things out. But I still smile thinking about how hot it was.”

The move: When women are going through a breakup, they love nothing more than talking about it. So be her shoulder to cry on. He was selfish? You love giving foot rubs! Play his opposite and you’ll be the new boy in her bed in no time.

Danger factor: This is a terrible idea that will never, ever end well. Trust us.

Source Maxim Magazine

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in 5 Off-Limit Women Men Can't Resist , best friends , employee , girlfriends , intern , online dating , relationship , roommates , sex , sisters