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Salsa Circuit
Last week I revealed how heartache does not discriminate among races, cultures or backgrounds and how no one is immune to the ill effects of a broken heart. By the same token, a second chance, when either earned or given, can renew your spirits and make even the most pessimistic person believe in love. Eileen Rivera illustrated this beautifully in her article about Chico and Rita.
So what do you do (and not do) when you get a second chance? How do you go about rebuilding trust in a relationship? Is it possible to forgive someone that hurt you and move on to a brighter future? The answer to this question is a resounding “yes” if you’re willing to put in the work.
When given a second chance at love, you should embrace it, cherish it and remember why you’re in this situation in the first place. It’s true that it takes “two to tango”, but if you’re responsible for putting the relationship on rocky ground, own up to it and accept complete responsibility. There’s nothing worse than an insincere apology; your partner will see through your actions, if you’re truly sorry. Also, don’t fall victim to falling into old patterns; talk to your partner about what went wrong and what you’re going to do to fix it. Give them specific steps you plan to take to improve the relationship whether it’s weekly counseling, attending church or changing a bad habit.
Rebuilding trust is a slow and sometimes difficult process, but both people in the relationship have to be willing to let go of the past. Concentrate on the present and show your appreciation for your partner so that your future can be filled with happiness. Remember the feelings you had when you first met your partner, all the special things you did for him/her (and vice versa), the surprises, the trips together – by remembering when you were most happy in the relationship you can recapture your passion. Above all else, however, be completely honest. The truth shall set you free.
The old adage, “to err is human, to forgive divine,” must be your mantra in moving forward with a second chance at love. I often think about parents who have had to forgive someone who wronged their child – or even worse – caused their death. If these parents can forgive these atrocities, then working through a tough spot in a relationship is possible. Learn from your mistakes and practice forgiveness by forgiving others and yourself.
Finally, both parties in the relationship have to move past difficulties with the same goal – a renewed relationship is made stronger (not weaker) by getting over hurdles together. If you’re continually looking in the past or idealizing the days of ol’, you will never completely mend the relationship. So, keep your eye on the prize of a happy future and value the person you love everyday with wild abandonment!
Source Brian Cockman
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