8:56 PM
Salsa Circuit
"I'm putting on eyeliner." My good friend on the other end of the phone knows exactly what I mean when I say this.
She laughs. "You're going out tonight, are you?"
We've had this conversation many times in the past few months, ever since my divorce and the onset of a new life. Sharing custody with my daughter's father suddenly left me with pockets of free time I hadn't had in years. Free time meant freedom to do things I'd previously only had time to dream about. All the years I'd put aside certain desires because of time constraints and a partner who was both critical and unwilling to participate were over. The allure of possibility stretched before me, as enticing as the Yellow Brick Road. Only I wasn't headed for the Emerald City - I was going salsa dancing.
I had no intention of wasting time feeling sorry for myself; instead I felt a license to take the liberty of really taking care of myself. Part of that meant doing things I loved and interacting with other people. Salsa dancing was one activity that fulfilled both requirements. Above all else, the desire for a sense of interconnectedness through the simple act of human touch pushed me out the door and onto the dance floor. Touch could be had, hours at a time, in five-minute increments, in a safe way. Plus, there was the chance to dress up, have fun, and get in shape.
The music was part of the draw. Latin music has a rhythm unlike any other. It's impossible to listen to it and sit still. The beat is infectious; nod your head to the beat and it's only a matter of time before the rest of your body begins to follow. The instruments of percussion have names that sound like music: clave, timbale, and conga. And hey, you gotta have more cowbell. You can never have too much cowbell. Just listening to the music made me happy, and ready to move.
There is an elegant simplicity to the male-female arrangement in salsa dancing. Gender roles are extremely traditional in salsa dance; males lead, females follow. No complications or uncertainties about who does what. However, each and every dance holds the air of mystery. After all, every time I said yes to a dance, I never quite knew what I was getting myself into. Partners vary in their level of skill; some are obvious beginners, while others are incredibly graceful and advanced... which only became obvious after the first few measures of music. But the not knowing kept things interesting.
Salsa dance offered a whole new insight into relationships, which was fascinating. Some partners had delightful attitudes and were a pleasure to dance with. Others were oddly vacant or completely full of themselves. Dancing with such a vast assortment of partners made me realize that the way a man behaved on the dance floor gave a pretty clear indication of how he might behave in an intimate partnership. There were those who made every effort to be fantastic partners ... and those who didn't.
Following my heart and acting on the impulse to dive into salsa dancing paid off in many ways. A whole world opened up for me: new music, new places to explore, and new friends. Over time, I got more and more comfortable with putting myself out in the world and interacting with all sorts of people. Getting in great shape was an added bonus. It all added up to confidence. It was exactly what I needed to learn how to stand on my own two feet again ... and dance with a new partner.
Source GRIER COOPER
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