Tonight on “Dancing with the Stars,“ the dancers feel the need for speed. They’re jive talkin’ and doing it quick, but not easy, with the quickstep.
Len, Bruno and Carrie Ann are looking for kicks, flips and high energy in the jive, with legs pumping. The quickstep features hops, runs and Len’s beloved chasses, which involve a glide in a step-together-step motion. The jive and quickstep are the fastest of the Latin and ballroom dances, respectively, and in seasons past, they haven‘t favored the older celebrities (see Jennifer Grey, Kirstie Alley). Are fortysomethings Chynna Phillips and Ricki Lake already in trouble? Can a struggling young’un like 24-year-old Rob Kardashian move up the leader board?
First up: Hope Solo and Maksim Chmerkovsky, who have the jive. Team USA’s goalie says soccer kicks differ from jive kicks. The routine plays up Hope’s soccer background, with Maks in a 1980s-style all-white athletic ensemble and Hope in a sparkly purple cropped version of a jersey. The whole thing seems goofy, definitely playing to the crowd, and Hope loses her timing. Len likes it more than Carrie Ann and Bruno – surprising, as he’s usually the grumpy one. Perhaps Hope’s kiss enchanted him. Carrie Ann and Bruno ding her for lack of precision. Score: 19 (Carrie Ann 6, Len 7, Bruno 6).
In discussing her quickstep with Mark Ballas, Kristin Cavallari trots out two tired stereotypes: Old Hollywood Glamour (the laziest styling around) and Marilyn Monroe (even if she is dancing to “Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend”). A couple should stay in hold for the quickstep, but this one ends with Kristin standing there while Mark does a flip. Isn’t a “DWTS” dance supposed to showcase the star? Bruno and Carrie Ann use some form of “bedazzling,” while Len says, “It wasn’t as good as you look.” Score: 22 (Carrie Ann 8, Bruno 7, Len 7)
David Arquette and the jive are a combination of extremes. Will partner Kym Johnson help him corral his high energy level for good, or will it be, as she observes in rehearsal, more frantic, with no technique? Hint: When Carrie Ann calls the dance “Carson-esque,” she isn’t praising David’s technical skills. Len hangs his head. Bruno describes a borderline derailment. On the other hand, David deserves at least a point for being the most styled contestant ever during rehearsals. Score: 18 (6s across the board)
Elisabetta Canalis and Val Chmerkovsky don’t have a promising rehearsal package ahead of their quickstep. He calls her out on her attitude, she stresses, he loses patience. It’s like watching Maks with a partner he doesn’t like – very uncomfortable. As for the dance, Elisabetta still looks awkward, but her hops are good. Len and Carrie Ann praise her improvement. Bruno babbles on with some Italian-car/sex analogies you know he’s been dying to use. Score: 21 (7s across the board)
Rob claims he’s shy and has body-image issues, and his jive rehearsals consist in part of Cheryl Burke in therapist mode (“Don’t be afraid to be great” – is this “Oprah?”). Again, the judges and I are on disconnect. I see limp. They see energy and improvement. Carrie Ann has the zinger of the evening: “Rob Kardashian is a better dancer than Kim Kardashian!” Score: 21 (7s across the board)
Carson Kressley and Anna Trebunskaya certainly brought flair to the ballroom last week, but not a lot of technique. Carson says he’s serious about wanting to learn to dance, though he warns Anna that even as a child, he didn’t have coordination. Ah, this is the couple to trot out the nerdy glasses. They look as if a bag of Skittles exploded on them. You can tell Carson’s trying, but he just isn’t that great a dancer. Len has a soft spot for Carson, saying he wants him back next week. Everyone praises the amount of effort he put into the dance. Score: 18 (6s all around).
Please, please, don’t let Ricki use “DWTS” as an extended weight-loss commercial. Let’s watch her dance, not listen to her wonder how Kirstie survived the jive. When Ricki and Derek perform, they have attack and energy, although sometimes the dance is more salsa than the West Coast swing Derek professes it to be. She has great kicks and flips, as Carrie Ann and Bruno observe. Len wrinkles his face at the less-traditional stylings. Score: 23 (Carrie Ann 8, Len 7, Bruno 8).
Chaz Bono and Lacey Schwimmer have the quickstep, but he worries his swollen joints and creaky knees won’t be up to the task. Lacey choreographs to take out the flash and leave in only the most basic steps. Still, you can see the pain crossing Chaz’s face, and his gliding barely qualifies as stepping. It’s a very slow quickstep. The judges acknowledge the physical problems in their critiques, at the same time reminding them a quickstep needs speed. Score: 17 (Carrie Ann 6, Len 5, Bruno 6).
After tying at the top last week, Chynna and Tony Dovolani face high expectations for their jive. Chynna is hard on herself and even utters something more profane than “oh, fudge!” They, and their dance, are very cute – but “cute” probably isn’t the first word that should come to mind when describing the jive. Bruno and Carrie Ann think she played it safe. Len finds it neat but needing more “wow.” Score: 21 (7s all around).
I wouldn’t have pegged Nancy Grace as the first crier of the season. However, she freezes when Tristan MacManus asks her to show him her quickstep on her own. He calmly ends the practice session; she chokes up the next day in apologizing. As with the cha-cha, Nancy’s quickstep is better than one might expect. Tristan seems to know how to choreograph in such a way to showcase her strengths/disguise her weaknesses. Len goes crazy with glee because he’s so happy someone followed the rules and stayed in hold. Carrie Ann, on the other hand, would’ve liked more razzle-dazzle. She calls Nancy and Tristan an incredible team. Score: 21 (Carrie Ann 6, Len 8, Bruno 7).
Until last week, JR Martinez was one of the least-known stars in the cast, but based on enthusiastic ballroom and message-board reaction, he’s now a fan favorite. The “DWTS” producers capitalize on that enthusiasm, saving JR and Karina Smirnoff’s jive for the end of the show. We see them practice a lift in rehearsal, which can’t be pleasing to Carrie Ann. It’s a performance, and they’re clearly in sync – but is it a jive? Len says no – as good as it was, it was a Lindy hop, not a jive. Bruno doesn’t care and yells happily about charisma. Predictably, Carrie Ann marks off for the lift. Score: 22 (Carrie Ann 7, Len 7, Bruno 8).
With a lot of 21s, it’s hard to tell who’s going home this week. It seems the judges are throwing it to the audience to decide.
Source Donna Kardos Yesalavich
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